Torengos. They were Pringles-like tortilla chips that were surprisingly tasty.

I think it's been well-established that Amelie is forever stuck in "only liking things ironically" mode.

And big surprise, she puts something involving Honey Boo Boo on the side of tolerable.

Bigger genetic impossibility: Jeff Garlin and Timothy Olyphant playing father and son (or son and father, rather) in this movie, or George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino playing brothers in From Dusk Till Dawn?

This wasn't a great movie, but it was fun seeing [SPOILER] Harrison Ford play a bad guy, especially when he claimed in an interview that he never would [/SPOILER], and there's a scene where a character slips and hits his head on a bathroom sink that's jarringly, cringe-worthingly realistic.

Well, I'm glad to see that prison reformed him.

I do not remember a meningitis outbreak in the book of Under the Dome. I do remember a gang rape, some girls getting strangled, a riot taking place at a grocery store, and a kid blowing half his face off, has any of that happened?

Yo bitch, I'm gonna live fore—

Hopefully Jonah Hill was in better spirits when he did WTF than when he did his interview with Rolling Stone, because he really came off as a total prick in that. Of course, the reporter was so overwhelmingly fawning of his subject material (Seth Rogan and the rest of the cast of This is the End) that he might have…

Who are these people who go to see Adam Sandler movies? No, really, I want to know. I know not a single person who finds his movies more than modestly entertaining, certainly not enough to pay box office prices to see them. This is genuinely baffling to me.

Sharknado was really fucking silly, but what's even sillier are the smug, condescending assholes making a point of mentioning that they didn't watch it. I even saw one person bust out that old "I'm so glad I don't own a TV" chestnut. Well, good for you, you joyless crank.

Aw, it's genuinely nice that my absence has been noticed! Yeah, I've had to cut back in recent weeks cause of my job, but I still sneak a few comments here and there when I can.

Well, I sure have heard of some of these movies.

This was pretty great, but it doesn't beat my favorite scene from Sharktopus, when a construction worker yells out, very unconvincingly, "Oh no, not like this! Aaaaaaahhh!" as a tentacle yanks him off a platform.

Wow, that is a murderer's row of shitty comedians. I've never even heard of Russell Peters.

So help me, if this makes more money than Pacific Rim this weekend I will murder a kitten.

But…but…according to one of your co-workers only an idiot would enjoy this movie! The AV Club break room must be a tense place right now.

Close tie between Sonic and Five Guys.

But even shriveled, singed, stupid summer brains aren't stupid enough to enjoy Transformers Go to the Pacific

So dreamy in his younger days, not too bad now either.