I am really glad there is nobody around to see my face right now.

Is he ever!

The fact that they are all much more enjoyable than Titanic is a pretty good argument in favor of them being better movies.

The fact that they are all much more enjoyable than Titanic is a pretty good argument in favor of them being better movies.

You seem like someone who spends exactly the right amount of time thinking about soda.

You seem like someone who spends exactly the right amount of time thinking about soda.

Aaah I forgot about that lyric, fuckin' Diddy.

Aaah I forgot about that lyric, fuckin' Diddy.

I love that quote so much. "You don't hear other bands. You only hear The Police."

I love that quote so much. "You don't hear other bands. You only hear The Police."

Seriously, I am way too poor to justify going to this, and I am at best indifferent towards Bad Santa, but O'Neal just brings so much joy to my life I'm probably going to go anyway.

Seriously, I am way too poor to justify going to this, and I am at best indifferent towards Bad Santa, but O'Neal just brings so much joy to my life I'm probably going to go anyway.

Fair enough, it's maybe just that the context I've heard it used in for the most part has been a not positive one.

Fair enough, it's maybe just that the context I've heard it used in for the most part has been a not positive one.

Turtle. Turtle turtle.

Turtle. Turtle turtle.

It's one of those words that isn't necessarily racist, but is used almost exclusively by racists. Although in this case it wasn't so much the actual word so much as the fact that it was part of a list of reasons he was glad his wife was retiring from teaching.

It's one of those words that isn't necessarily racist, but is used almost exclusively by racists. Although in this case it wasn't so much the actual word so much as the fact that it was part of a list of reasons he was glad his wife was retiring from teaching.

I make it a point to rewatch The Critic every few years, just long enough to forget about and be re-delighted by gems like that.

I make it a point to rewatch The Critic every few years, just long enough to forget about and be re-delighted by gems like that.