I begged to go see Santa Claus: The Movie in the theater. I watched about 20 minutes of it on Netflix last December; and would rather have someone beat me with a sock full of coal.

I begged to go see Santa Claus: The Movie in the theater. I watched about 20 minutes of it on Netflix last December; and would rather have someone beat me with a sock full of coal.

Four boobied woman?  Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 6… Boobied… Woman. Think about it. You go to a movie, you see 4-boobied woman sittin' there, there's 6 boobied woman right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?

Or, The Kid stabs #8's uncle, sending Fonda into a state of depression and rage. Later, distracted by the guilt, he's accidentally bitten by, oh, let's say a radioactive spider. He then goes out and unleashes his brand of justice on criminals. call it, "One Angry Spider-man".

Or, The Kid stabs #8's uncle, sending Fonda into a state of depression and rage. Later, distracted by the guilt, he's accidentally bitten by, oh, let's say a radioactive spider. He then goes out and unleashes his brand of justice on criminals. call it, "One Angry Spider-man".

Nah, not enough use of the word "fawk" and references to tanning.

Nah, not enough use of the word "fawk" and references to tanning.

They dance their asses off just enough to save the rec center.

They dance their asses off just enough to save the rec center.

Charlie Murphy!!!!

Charlie Murphy!!!!

The time Steve Austin fought Bigfoot was pretty epic. Not only did Lee Majors protect the Pacific Northwest from the sasquatch menace, he also saved Christmas by rescuing Santa from terrorists.  It aired on IBC a few years back. Yule love it!

The time Steve Austin fought Bigfoot was pretty epic. Not only did Lee Majors protect the Pacific Northwest from the sasquatch menace, he also saved Christmas by rescuing Santa from terrorists.  It aired on IBC a few years back. Yule love it!

His name is Robert Paulsen.

His name is Robert Paulsen.

Asshole.

Asshole.

Why don't you just ask Tom Petty while you're at it. Sincerely, Billy Bob Thornton

Why don't you just ask Tom Petty while you're at it. Sincerely, Billy Bob Thornton

Ooof. +1 pink ribbon and/or yellow bracelet to you, sir.