I think the challenge faced by an absurdist humour celebrity site is in somehow out-absurding actual celebrity news.

"Mae Whitman and her whole getup were really hot."

He alive, damnit!

TIL the High Sparrow is pretty much Bernie Sanders.

I never thought I'd ever describe a resurrection as "workmanlike", but here we are.

Jon wakes up to the smell of burning flesh and dies, screaming on the pyre. *sad sampled cello*

He alive, damnit!

Whatchew talkin' about, Hodor?!

Don't forget poop! I thought I had to go to the doctor the first time I ate beets.

I hope Prince left that review on Yelp!

But she has a sweet, heavenly voice… like Urkel! And she appears every Friday night… like Urkel!

Just as long as he stays away from the hotdog flavoured water.

I'm confused. Are you using 'cum' in the latin or er… seminal sense?

This portobello mushroom eats like a steak - a rubbery, fungus-like steak.

That dog could sell anything.

Guests start wondering about the creeping sense of dread and why they're breaking out in anxiety sweat…

Don't give them any ideas.

Which means Sansa froze herself half-to-death for absolutely nothing!

It's been explained in this missing scene!

Ugh, what's he gonna do next, the flapping dickey?