Nine minutes and counting.  Get in line, knuckles!

That Britney Spears picture will keep this old sailor warm on many a cold night at sea!

Only problem is the second penis grew in your mouth.  Heyyy, you're awright, camel!

I'm more concerned with Lars; he looks like a grumpy little Humpty-dumpty.

Taut young titties can only take a story so far…

I'd like to see how Chuck would figure out rhymes for "I shot a scene with Bruce Lee," "Buy the Abs-erciser," and "I'm a commentator for Fox News" and make it work.

It had a clever meta line: "I'm not the kind to kiss & tell, but I've been seen with Farrah…"

I can make one for under $20:
A) Throw two dishwashing sponges into two latex balloons.  (Sponges can be used or new, but for authenticity, go with used— the lintier & cruddier the better).
B) Secure each to an arm of a commercial "grabber" tool with rubber bands.
C) Slide penis in between sponges while working the…

Funny, as soon as I read the subject, I thought "The Shining"; when Danny is whipping around the hallways on his Big-Wheel without a care in the world, then all of a sudden runs headlong into the terrifying victim-twins, my inner 10-year-old shits himself.

Hehh.  I found an original Heavy Metal edition of this LP several years later, and then obsessively located cover model Joanne Latham on the internet.  She was THIS CLOSE to autographing my copy of the LP, and then suddenly understood just how creepy such a situation could potentially become.  Good on her.

Ahh, that's why "How's Your News?" didn't win for Best Documentary, and that Corky 'tard never won anything either (outside of the Special Olympics).

The description of trying to find stuff in old record stores was spot-on.  When I was a kid, my Holy Grail was the Witchfinder General "Death Penalty" album.  I would go around to hip record shops every weekend, being told by the tattooed guy behind the counter that he'd "put the word out" to his collector buddies.

I just found my Halloween costume!

I get into this argument with all CD-purchasing music industry apologists; "But I like to support the ARTISTS!"  Bullshit.  True artists are going to make art whether they get paid or not, and modern technology (Pro Tools for production, Facebook for distribution) has made 99% of the industry useless anyway.  It…

Evolution is just a THOERY!!!  They're are NO trnsitional forms!  ALL evidense points to a world-wide flood!!!  WAKE UP LIBTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the strangest examples I can think of is Craven's "Music of the Heart".  Did well at the box office, and worked well for what it was— a bland, commercial, feel-good story.  Not what you'd expect from the guy who shot a scene of a woman ripping a guy's dick off with her teeth.

My university got all its cadavers for anatomy courses from India, until they found out that people over there were just running around murdering each other and selling the bodies.  Apparently, someone had a "problem" with this, and we went to using plastic models.  Prudes.

My last name is "Immortal".  Of Teas.

Devote an entire episode to his long-lost plans for his Mechanized Rectal Pumpkin-Projectile Automaton.

I closed it after ten minutes.  I agree that the idea has potential, but yeah, the jokes are predictable and the characters are boring.  It feels like the original idea was to have a hilarious sitcom about a bunch of horrible people being horrible to each other, but it just became so watered-down in the bureaucratic…