BART DRINKS TAB

Is this projection accurate? Did Erik Adams write a better review of The Simpsons than David Sims?

Maybe, it's a big country.

BART NAMED 
WORLD'S GREATEST 
SEX MACHINE

But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example, and… Erik Adams.

It's inexplicable. You have The Most Beautiful Woman in the World on your cast, and you don't use her? What the fucking fuck?

”Arcade Fire” and “great” don't belong in the same sentence, unless you include “waste of time” as well.

D’What you talkin’ ’bout, Sims?

God damn, Arcade Fire is a truly shitty band.

So, where the fuck is the review? SIIIIIIMMMMS!

This is the problem with youth. Talent and competence. They are coming to destroy us all, and we must try our best to alienate them and give them crippling emotional problems.

Not just America, the World!

If these kids really want to be chefs, the prize should include mandatory tattoos, face and/or genital piercings and a substance abuse problem.

For those who know MasterChef prime…

I dunno, that seems like it's in his wheelhouse.

But what are the "rules"? From what I see here, they reward mediocrity. A show that doesn't try to be good gets better grades than one that does.

I think the grading system could actually be worthwhile, if it made any sense. The biggest squandered opportunity here is that The AV Club could be collecting a lot of useful data, but chooses not to do anything with it.

Phil Dyess-Nugent and children: what could possibly go wrong?

Why should there be different scales for different shows? That's a stupid idea.

I "missed my click"? What the fuck does that even mean? If you want to seem intelligent, you might want to learn to write coherently.