Yeah, Ray Lewis used knives to make two peoples' hearts stop beating, but his eloquence kind of balances things out.

Indeed, a "Fallout Boy" is a trailer turd that follows the bulk of a bowel movement, often unnoticed until flushing.

Cool story, bro.

At the risk of seeming like an also-ran, I'll soon be opening a pizza place that's an exact double of the one from the 1998-2001 smash Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place.

I wonder if R. Kelly will tweak his lyrics to speak more directly to hipsters.

The ubiquity of suspenders and mustaches at Pitchfork further supports the Gallagher comparison.

My wife and I can't wait to listen to this on our twin earbuds tonight as we tandem-bike to our home-brewing class!

More like "The Donut Aficionado."

I applaud the man. This great nation of ours needs an impartial watchdog, and not since Woodward and Bernstein have we seen such a gutsy miner of the truth.

That oughtta teach those happy singin' kids to push him around!

"Pssssssssst. Chris. I heard Adam Levine thinks you're a silly little ho. Also, I've seen him eyeing your parking spots."

Bravo!

Clearly it's been too long since Chris Brown's dad gave him a good old-fashioned humbling—you know, thrashed him with an extension cord while telling him he'll never amount to shit.

Don't know what criteria we're judging Vonnegut by here, but Breakfast of Champions is at least his funniest novel.

They might think of learning how to use apostrophes and question marks!

For real, I'm interested in the new writing you're seeing internationally that exposes the narcissistic tendencies of American authors.

They look ADD as fuck in that picture.

Goin' buckwild in the state of California
Sippin' Hi-C and eatin' slices of balogna
Dancin' in the rain little girl free love now
Sunday morning Jabber Jaw Cartoon Express y'all

You should reapply, maybe to less competitive programs?

Are you just turned off by the quirkiness or are you arguing that there is no substance behind the style?