They put Salma in the fish tacos, Hank!

Boy, I really hope I got fired for that blunder.

I actually had to google this, but apparently there are Foot Lockers in Beverly Hills.

With The Simpsons being marketed to hell and back, it's a wonder they've never put out a real Bonestorm video game.

I did buy my SNES with my own money, though. One of the proudest days of my life up to that point. Or maybe I shoplifted it, I can't remember.

You have selected…no

It reminds me of how I would frequently get the Genesis version of a game as a gift when I asked for the SNES version. I was usually able to contain my disappointment, I think.

You have entered POWER DRIVE

Nope, Ken Jennings

Chelsea Handler did just leave her show…

I don't know of anyone who's better at making bad material work than him.

That may be the most recent chart where I know all of the songs.

I almost puked the first time I saw Hey Arnold fanfiction.

I think we all have boners already at any given moment.

I really enjoyed her solo albums. She doesn't have much of a singing voice, though.

The A.V. Club
A good supply of properly frozen sperm and the right equipment for artificial insemination

…I had snu-snu.

I have ridden the mighty moon worm!

Buck Henderson, Union Buster!

Maybe something from the 2nd or 3rd season? They're more grounded and lack a lot of the wackiness of later seasons that may lose first-time viewers, but they're still very funny.