What a silly negro!

My History 101 professor was a self-parody. He would occasionally sidetrack into the superiority of Green Party politics, and was the first 9/11 Truther I ever knew, in the fall of 2001.

I first read the news while I was sitting on the toilet, in retrospect the only appropriate place to be.

In 1995, probably very few Americans knew who the Fourth Doctor was, but today they'll recognize him but be confused about Urkel.

"Wouldn't our lives be so much richer if television were done away with?"

The door already is closed!

That fool McGucket sprayed runway foam all over Chuck Yeager's Acura!

His soul?

Trebek was the straight man in those sketches, which is very unusual for Will Ferrell (especially when it's an impression).

He looks so much like Joe McCarthy it's eerie.

That reminds me of when I would make popcorn and mix it with potato chips. I think I'm going to make some of that tonight.

I know everyone hates them, but I think those Kinect dances are hilarious.

and Hemlock Grove!

JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEEEEEEEEINS!

I agree. It was like using an NES controller.

{mixes things up a little bit}

I can't remember my account number at the bank I've been with for 11 years, but I can quote that scene from memory.

I thought that's what you said too, but I didn't question that Zimmerman would be a dildo kingpin.

Conan is game to you?!?

Conan's fans are the rest of the Middle East; they constantly voice support and hurl insults at Jay Leno, but will never actually watch his show.