Butterfingers: Even the fire doesn't want them.

But that's true, as is the assertion that my kindergarten teacher was the first person ever to abbreviate "peanut butter and jelly" as "PB&J."

And we'll never have one - not until Ron Swanson retires, at least.

@ColdGottoBe:disqus I look forward to reading your fan fic.

Probably make some allusion to the name being unfit for print. That's what a local newspaper did when running a story about roller derby - and specifically, the player going by the name Ida Feltersnatch.

Yeah, but it would all be sex that ends with uncontrollable weeping, and that only counts for half the other kind.

Better than a crush on Sandra Day O'Connor.

Welles: You know, I counted the floors from this building to the street… Employer: Yes? Welles: And there's one missing. Employer: We'll look into it.

You're forgetting Sir Billi. http://en.wikipedia.org/wik…

So which father/daughter relationship is more creepy - this one, or the one with Thora Birch and her dad?

Also, space monkey.

If the one percent were a single human body, Paris Hilton would be the herpes.

Also, Butt How. And sometimes To Butt Extent.

He swung for the funny fences and parked one in the Seinfeld section.

He sold his awesome zebrawood box for an ounce of sculpting gel.

Oh, they loved wangs. It's just that small, slender wangs are much better for, er, going Greek. Especially given the shortcomings in that era's Astroglide technology.

I can make punctuation puns ~ cows come home. You can challenge me if you want, but you'd be an * it.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Topical!

Or the always-reliable 9mm brain tumor.