I don't even OWN a TV.

I don't even OWN a TV.

Thanks Russia, for giving my kids an excuse to say "pussy riot" all the time.  Also goes for the anti-gay marriage freaks.  I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT GAY SEX ALL THE TIME YOU FUCKING PERVERTED ASSHOLES!  STFU already.

Thanks Russia, for giving my kids an excuse to say "pussy riot" all the time.  Also goes for the anti-gay marriage freaks.  I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT GAY SEX ALL THE TIME YOU FUCKING PERVERTED ASSHOLES!  STFU already.

Tebow, like Jesus, isn't too bad.  It's his "followers" that need to learn how to STFU.

Tebow, like Jesus, isn't too bad.  It's his "followers" that need to learn how to STFU.

Screw dem bums from the Bronx…

Screw dem bums from the Bronx…

The real travesty of the OJ trial - it paid for the initial start-up costs of creating the Kardashian empire.

The real travesty of the OJ trial - it paid for the initial start-up costs of creating the Kardashian empire.

Wait - come back!  I didn't mean to asphyxiate you!  It's just an auto-erotic response I have whenever this subject comes up…

Wait - come back!  I didn't mean to asphyxiate you!  It's just an auto-erotic response I have whenever this subject comes up…

Well, for what it's worth I've never managed to leave the Portland area, and now wish I had spent my college years back east.  At this point, I may never visit Asbury Park or Atlantic City.

Well, for what it's worth I've never managed to leave the Portland area, and now wish I had spent my college years back east.  At this point, I may never visit Asbury Park or Atlantic City.

Um, I believe you are referring to the Masturbation Proclamation.

Um, I believe you are referring to the Masturbation Proclamation.

She does look like her mom had a cocktail or two while she was in utero…

She does look like her mom had a cocktail or two while she was in utero…

Especially for people this attractive that are somehow not very attractive.

Especially for people this attractive that are somehow not very attractive.