Yes, yes, it's all a rich tapestry.

I could a show unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres,
Thy knotted and combined locks to part
And each particular hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine.
But this eternal blazon must not be
For eyes of flesh…

I dunno, it was never that brilliant, but it massively, massively squandered its potential. It's like if I proposed to my boyfriend of four years only for him to say 'Yes, but only if we spend the first four years of our marriage with you watching me flushing all of our life savings down the toilet.'

I know the doctor says you're supposed to have two, but I just can't drink that much.

The first two seasons were Outstanding, the third and fourth Exceeded Expectations, the fifth was Acceptable, the sixth was Poor, the seventh was Dreadful and the eighth was just Troll.

In retrospect it would have been better if Rita's murder led Dexter to realise the danger he's putting his loved ones in and how fucked up he is, to confess everything and get life in prison while Deb raises Harrison. Then maybe he could be Hannibal Lecter in a spinoff.

The Dex Wing: Dexter becomes the president and instigates a policy where he gets to lead death squads roaming the country killing everyone who commits any act of violence; Deb leads the other side of the civil war against him and gets to swear a lot.

'I'm gonna give ya a physical you ain never gonna forget, I'm gonna PROBE YA!'

If it had led somewhere good, the last good moment would have been Deb shooting Dexter. As it was, the last good moment is Ivan (was that his name?) shooting Lewis.

The only way Dexter could have had a spinoff is if it had ended with Deb shooting and killing him, having an even more extensive nervous breakdown, going to prison, then consulting with the rest of the MMPD on Stockholm Syndrome-type serial killing Hannibal Lecter style. Perhaps she is rendered incapable of speech so…

LUMBERJACK! DEXTER EATS FACES!

On the wonderful things he does? Alaska setting? How about 'We're Off to See the Blizzard'?

Ice to Kill You

God rest that zombie Doakes.

Dextreme Makeover: Trees Edition

Who do you think you are kidding, Dexter Morgan,
If you think it was all fun?
We are the ones who stopped watching your old shame,
We are the ones who will never watch it again,
So who do you think you are kidding, Dexter Morgan,
If you think we'll watch this one?
Nielsen goes off to town on the 8.22,
But he comes home each…

Morgan, Dexter Morgan,
He's the shittest guy in history,
From the state of Florida,
He's about to chop a chestnut tree

Life is hard when you don't know what you're doing
It's even harder when you don't know why you're doing it
My company carries a death sentence
And I murdered for years
Slacking while slicing
But I won't slice any more
I will live…a life…in trees.

It seems today that all you see
Is harmony in movies and sex on TV
But where is that good old-fashioned bloodshed
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a murderer guy
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us
Scream and die
He's a murderer guy

Look out, Dexter, it's the greatest villain of them all - the Scoutmaster.