I asked my landlord to put a smoke detector in my kitchen after a friend tried to reduce a sauce and somehow ended up with 4' high flames, then smoke, then I realized if ever an alarm should sound, oh, wait. Thank effing God our kitchen is irritatingly tall (I have a stepladder to get to my spices!).

Together they taste like crap?

Some might even question why I bother posting!
Av, etc.

He'd definitely get the chica vote.

Eh. Still less evil than Cheney.

Say what?

We're jammin'…

My first thought was of cat keyboard purchases skyrocketing. Which I thought was a joke until I saw my friend's damn cat actually do it on a tab for some car part he had open by prancing on the laptop. Mad respect.

The Duffy's didn't give up when Ireland kicked them out. They didn't give up when America sent em back….

We got Gay Dean, which is the best pun use ever. Aaaand it's stuck in my head again, of course.

Or "obviously gay kid" from Tracy's high school.

Just blowing eeeeverything off

I don't know, I kinda want to watch Celebrity Beat Off.
https://m.youtube.com/watch…

Welcome back!
Stay and chillax awhile.

What he meant to say according to his attorneys…

Brother and I didn't know we had any family in Michigan beyond Mom+siblings until Grandma's cousin's 90th, which is where we also found out my Mom was married before my Dad. Good times. Genealogy!

Kickstarter finds a way.

Skirts with pockets = how I roll.

Can't get a straight answer out of this crazy hemisphere

This was literally the only reality show SO and I watch, and have from Season 1 (now we've got British Bake Off as he's a baker). Brings me so much happiness, when I'm not pissed (wtf Katya/Lattice/JuJu/Pandora elimination!).