Um… No. They last forever, hence the appeal. If they're *colored*, maybe.

(Low whistle)

I used to call in to request the classic rock or oldies stations play Velvet Underground (they technically both played 60s and 70s, dammit! And I had long drives in a car with a broken CD player and was + sounded young, so my requests went through surprisingly often). But I always had a backup request, and it was…

Fuck you, male.

But if I still like NMH because screw all ya'll, doesn't that make me more hipster for not going along with the rest of the hipsters?

Through that hole was twine attached to a bent nail.

… Yeah, my grandmother's cousin is super Catholic too, but we still had a fifth of vodka at every table when her youngest finally got married. We didn't start the drinking and dancing and eating until *after* the very, very, very long and solemn mass… Same thing with my Polish/Ukranian cousin, but my muffler fell off…

I had no idea what a sniglet was. Now I do. Neat.

HELL YEA!

I am a fan of mason jars for gatherings. I have lots of mason jars. I don't have a lot of glassware, and I won't be pissed if you break a mason jar.

What the fuck kind of Polish wedding is a dry one? There better have been a bride, groom, or immediate family member who has a REALLY tenuous hold on recovery, cause… there's just no excuse.

My senior in high school cousin is in a ska band.

I did not know this, but that makes a hell of a lot of sense. It's easier when you can afford to be a self indulgent twat.

(groan)

Holy crap. For YEARS and years, until roughly about 60 seconds ago, I honestly thought it was about his son who had died young for cancer. I somewhat remember asking my Mom about that ages upon ages ago, and that was her answer, and I just had no reason to doubt it.

It really is. I didn't watch it til very recently, but it's pretty great as far as fun movies go. Roger Moore playing not Roger Moore not really James Bond is great.

If you'd like to see Calculon driving in the "driverless" car as a last ditch gambit by a Japanese Jackie Chan, press 1.

If anyone is interested in road trip movies, Rich Hall's documentary about the history of them is pretty great (iirc Continental Divide, free on some Google Video search result).

I'm gonna go with the religious sister in law being struck by a overwhelming urge inspired by the divine to go to the pond and she ends up pulling the kid out in the nick of time. It'll keep the kids on the edge of their American seats. And it can just end with a shot of the kid and his aunt together, having just…

Bizarro, I'm helping! Bizarro, I'm helping!