I grew up in Michigan and thought Vernors was overrated. Canada Dry, bitches!

During the acceptance speech, someone from ABC walks down the aisle, interrupts and challenges them to a bout, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!

Only if January Jones and Christina Hendricks get to play valets.

I did. It's a rough run.

Hey man…
I got a beverage here!

Oh wow, oh man, oh wow, oh man…

(William Holden blasts idea with machine gun)
GIVE 'EM HELL, PIKE!!!

(long pause)
Joe Franklin raped her.

John Shaqenheimer, bitches!

Tony Parker got to do unspeakable things to Eva Longoria. He can take a lot of ribbing.

And Brian De Palma said "The Aristocrats!"

Next up for Mr. Singleton? An action-thriller starring Taylor Lautner.

(Miles driving the bus) Herbie, Keith, John, sit the fuck down!

Fred Williamson is ready to dongwhip this list.

(Miles rasp) That's right, Tim. I never did a muthafuckin' family comedy.

White people fail firsties like this…

or womyn.

Die like a woman.

Way to Sabotage the reunion.

Is Denny sitting in the back?