What if America doesn't need any late-night comedy any more? What if America is just gonna read a chapter of Ron Chernow's Hamilton biography in bed and then try to get a good night's sleep?

It had the effect of completely changing Doug's character, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It makes sense that he'd be different after coming back to life, and the panels where he uses this new power are effectively written by Wells. But it really does darken his character, and that's not something we need…

Thor became a Joe Versus the Volcano reboot so gradually, I hardly noticed.

Well…we could just punch each other for a bit, I suppose.

I remember the Serpentor commercials coming on TV, and I knew, even as an eight-year-old, that this meant G.I. Joe jumping the shark. Cobra Commander was already plenty snaky, because of his scary shiny helmet.

I spent five years of my life trying to invent an ass-guard. Failing to do so is my greatest regret.

No, this is 8.

We called it French rolling, because we were classy, in rural Indiana.

I feel like the New Kids wouldn't be able to inspire Uncle Jesse to the same degree, though.

Alive 2: Not Alive Any More, But Still Hungry

No, no…let's forget. Also Orgazmo, please.

Sheesh. I'm glad I saw it when I got the chance. I assume it was a failed TV pilot. It might not be as good as I remember; I was at that age where anything sci-fi was glorious, and there wasn't a lot of it on TV.

Suicide Squad missed a golden opportunity, because Bronze Tiger, one of the characters from the comic who didn't make it in, had an epic flattop.

::Sigh::

Good grief, as if I didn't need a stronger recommendation. I love McDonough. That reminds me I need to check if the obscure TV Movie White Dwarf can be purchased digitally. It has McDonough AND CCH Pounder.

They put an interesting twist on it for She's All That, though. They had Rachael Leigh Cook take off her cool glasses, cut her beautiful long hair, and trade her sexy hipster overalls for a boring red dress!

I feel like that would be an interesting way to explore the repressed sexuality of that era.

No, nobody eat any asses! That's how the Donner Party got into all their trouble. We need those asses to get through this wilderness.

You know the alumni covered that shit up, too. U.S. News & World Report would've taken a few points away otherwise.

I don't think zombies showing up in historical fiction can be considered a twist, these days. It's like the nerdy girl taking off her glasses and shaking out her hair: She's actually beautiful! What a twist!