Zombies Like It Hot

What the fuck is it with zombies nowadays? It seems like it's reached a point where people actually think that they're a possible threat. I was talking to a guy who could only be described as an asshole, and he seemed to have armed himself at least in part to prepare for any coming zombie outbreaks. He also told be…

That year was my favourite shit! Broke my femur.

I assume you're talking about Big Money Penguin from Tha PNG?

I'm just gonna throw this out there. Comic books are silly.

She's a lot of fun.

Don't you mean towewabwe?

I couldn't give a fuck if somebody were to marry an animal or a toaster. How is your relationship with that frog going to change? And a toaster is an inanimate object. You don't need consent to do anything at all to it.

I love how bring complicated is a legitimate excuse not to fuck. Actually, the procedure is quite simple. You spread your hooha and I pound my man meat into it.

Not a single word I have read, either in this article or the comments below, has given me an ounce of hope for my new parody of a parody of a podcast about bad movies.

Whoa does that work? 8675309!

True. I hated you back then.

If middle schoolers taught children the Bible, the children would come out of it without having learned anything true. Very different from when a serious adult teaches the Bible.

I am really not the one to be saying this, but you should get a life.

Proper responses to ingesting cocaine:

Obviously everybody has already said this, but a man who has romantic feelings for another man is a woman and Chris Brown is once, twice, three times a lady hitter.

You're right. Raisins are chewy.

What about the other 10%?

I just want to commemorate the precise moment when your life turned irreversibly to shit.

Bill Nye the Science Gay