I remember reading that he wrote one called "It's Still Billy Joel to Me" which he actually discarded because it was too mean. So I guess that doesn't count anyway, but it seems to be in the same vein.

I love that in discussing R. Kelly…
…he uses the phrase "statutory rate." Just one letter off from what everyone else normally associates R. Kelly with!

I hope not. That book was awful even by Dan Brown's standards.

Technically the Da Vinci Code is the sequel to Angels and Demons, even though the movies reversed the order from the books… I bet they make The Lost Symbol into a movie eventually, though. Let's hope Ron Howard does a better job of obscuring the villain's identity than Dan Brown did, although it's probably going to…

Up 2: Upper

He kinda looks like Josh Malina
That is all.

Real Steel
My first thought was also "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie," but it's actually based on a Richard Matheson short story that was also made into an episode of the Twilight Zone once upon a time. This seems more acceptable, at least.

Did this post set a record for failed firsties?
I count at least five.

I'm a few years under that range, but it's an awful movie, IMO. The mystery plot is actually sufficiently twisty as to be the best part, but it's thoroughly obscured by the way Chase sleepwalks through the role like even he can't believe they made a movie based so heavily on dull wisecracks. To say nothing of the…

Incorrect, Wha? Penn beat Rourke in 2008; in 2009, Bridges won for Crazy Heart. Rourke did win the Golden Globe and the BAFTA in 2008, but not the Oscar.

To be fair, that appears to be the name of the actor, not the character. Still kind of funny.

I was wondering why Topher Grace was suddenly deemed worthy of starring in a film again. Now I know: he wasn't.

Just watched a clip from Big Fish on YouTube. Even as an 8-year-old her voice was ridiculously deep. I guess they start 'em smoking real early in that family.

Wait, people working for the FBI or CIA are more interesting than some random person working in an office? No way.

Pilot re-air
Great! Because what I really want, even though I own the DVDs, is to watch the pilot with commercials again.

Stop trying to make streets ahead/behind happen
You fucking knob.

Retreads
Not only was the Jenny Slate sketch a retread (a double retread, even), but the Will Forte as Hamilton sketch brings back a character who first appeared in a Drew Barrymore episode a year or two ago. I also thought that that sketch was oddly shortened (lines trimmed on the fly to accommodate for Hader's…

Not that I would ever see it regardless
But holy shit, 125 minutes long? That seems necessary.

If you think Life Aquatic is his best movie, you're not really an Anderson fan. Life Aquatic is like an imitation someone else is doing of an Anderson film and just getting it SLIGHTLY wrong.

Mediocre to bad
And the monologue was painful. The Taylor Swift episode was a lot better.