3 male characters in the new Star Trek openly wept. Why does Abrams like to see men cry?

Say goodbye, don't follow.

Gary Lee!!

If you head over to Pakistan right now, they're still cleaning up splattered little boy who got nailed by a drone last night.

You mean The Yahds?

… with a Foghorn Leghorn accent.

Fap.

Yeah, it has that Night After Night with Alan Havey feel, which I love.

I hope it's a train-wreck so James Deen goes back to doing what he does best: strangling and sodomizing women.

You are LITERALLY the George Costanza of AV Club.

Debbie Downer: "That's okay. I'll just watch Rob Lowe on the next season of Californication."

Let me reach into my waffle-shaped purse to get you a waffle-shaped tissue.

So this is pretty much the funniest thing on TV, right? 

Jokey Smurf: "It's a surprise…"
Smurfette: "GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Actually, it was supposed to be unsettling, not fun. Especially if you were watching in an actual theater.

Re-watched Inglourious Basterds since I originally saw it. It's still one of the best movies I've seen in 10 years.

So much Tea Party porn coming this fall, it will plague America's keyboard warriors with carpel tunnel syndrome, preventing them from trolling.

Just refer to both of them as Tasytee Poussey.

No. They all turn into zombies from the toxic mold.

"YOU GOT THE PEACHES, I GOT THE CREAM!"