But this shit happens in real life. One stumble turns into a cascade of mistakes and next thing you know, you're cargo for meth mouth.

why u show me this

Average? Really? I laughed my ass off.

Dennis: "They're not homosexuals, Frank, they're faeries. As in from the land of Faery. If anything, they're pansexual."

Segway accidents are rarely fatal

fap fap fap… nothing.

No comparison to "Up with Chris"? That's a shame.

Just finished Dark City and Citizen Cane commentary wake. It's like a parent dying.

BUSH LIED!

Being an alien would explain how he could be a practicing musician one minute, then an iOS wunderkind with a top-selling app the next.

Have you seen the new Poof?

Shush, Shosh!

bunghole

A sack of shit like Brown who, in the same conversation, talks about laying pipe to his girlfriend, then describes women as "priceless and delicate," strives for "chivalry". Thank you so much. I was writing a paper on benevolent sexism and this is the textbook example I was looking for.

"She's all yours, Storm Shadow!"

(heavy breathing)

No. Watch Ripper Street instead.

Huh. It wasn't pigment. Just dirt.

I read the article title in Ron Howard's voice. Do I need help?

Except DIE.