And why are you getting snitty with me when you didn't enjoy this episode as much as me? We're all friends in hate here!

AND HOT GAY SEX

You can stop watching any time.

But then Whovian would cease to exist!

You get so twisted up defending this show you must have to screw your underwear on every morning.

Did I give the impression of not wanting to keep said stuff?

Ooh, wicked burn!

You're a big old silly!

Then why is it so childish?

I know, right? We'll need to get people making giant polystyrene rocks for props right now!

And as I awoke hours later, trapped in the car boot with duct tape around my wrists …

That was a pretty obscure incident until the X-Files made it all hip and shit.

Weren't companions so much more fun when they accidentally wandered into the TARDIS, and it took the Doctor eight months to return them to what they were originally doing? Instead of the Doctor continually hanging around a school because this one person must be THE VOICE OF MY CONSCIENCE AS I AM THE LAST OF MY OH WOE…

Congratulations! You're the millionth poster to point that out. You win the ability to read the rest of the comments before posting again.

Do you think whoever is in charge of the meeting demands to be addressed as "COMMANDER!"?

Well, this is a Conservative government; those are all sex dungeons.

The thing is, this all actually happened the other week. It's just that, on that day, I decided to stay in and play Xbox in my underpants, and so it all sort of passed me by. The Doctor could have stayed inside the TARDIS and beat his high score on Tetris.

Surely the Doctor has forgotten about Gallifrey being out there? If he still remembers, why is he spending all his time dicking about on Earth instead of rescuing his HOME PLANET?

Up to age fumph. What's fumph in English?

The Doctor lands in a Trafalgar Square covered in forest - which suddenly appeared ten years ago and led to a collapse in society. He comes across a pack of near-feral humans who are barely surviving. Then the monsters are revealed … GIANT FUCKING MOTHS!!! And no CGI whatsoever. Big costumes made of felt. God, I'd be…