It's probably lost in one of the rolls of fat.

I'm British, and don't understand this. I didn't get rewarded for reading as a child - knowledge was the reward!

Yeah, I got class all over myself.

ONE OF THEM ISN'T A BOOK, IT'S AN ALLEGORICAL NOVELLA - AND, SPOILER ALERT, IT SUCKS

Good job getting that far into the video!

Oh don't mind my friend Sherri. She just came over to use the shower.

But if you were a carpenter, wouldn't it bother the shit out of you that your doors weren't fixed properly? It would me.

I have it in writing!

Do you know how many puppies have died in the Middle East this year alone? It's such a tragedy!

Yeah, but what kind of a loser reads?

There's something out there … and it ain't no man.

I deCookiefy my biscuit jar every night.

Someone's getting fucking paid for this? I sure hope not.

Pretty much.

And so is his dick.

He's still in the factory being rebooted.

No fuck that. I don't trust anyone in the studio system to not fuck it up completely.

These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

Fucking hell, the story really isn't worth being remade so many times!

"But cousin, why a spoon … ?"