Drag Me to Hell is also intentionally funny.

I've only seen the theatrical version, but I think I'll stick with it.  The cat thing is pretty tense, but I thought the cut-to the back yard burial was also quite funny.

For you maybe.

"The inability to follow modern trend and needs of today's market"  So what are they?

Wes Craven stating his unfamiliarity with CGI effects handily emphasises why they'd sooner hire some no talent kid who grew up using computers.  Though you'd think Craven might get a bit more license considering he originated two very lucrative franchises.

Argento's films were always silly, but they used to look fantastic and have a great atmosphere.  Now they're silly, look ugly, and are about as evocative as a direct to DVD Seagal movie.

Frame by frame comparison:

There's some stuff in Eastern Promises which is more overtly genre horror than his actual horror films (the corpse preparation, the throat slashings).

He mustn't have had full control of his mental faculties either because Giallo is awful from any angle.

Do zombies need to eat the living to exist?  They have the impulse to do so, but really, they're dead, decomposing, dismembered; are they actually going to derive sustenance from killing?

I think you're in the minority saying Drag Me to Hell isn't good.  In fact I'm pretty sure it got an A review here.  Shutter Island was mostly enjoyable to watch but it really, really, doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

It's also not that good.

I wish Larry Cohen had directed this.

Ironic Porn Purchase Leads To Unironic Ejaculation

I know you didn't use that term.

Maybe you should watch some of these.  They're not rote slashers, which should be fucking obvious if you've read the descriptions.

Suckin' butts?

He's "bad-ass".

"Happy Birthday!"

WHOOO OOO OOOOOH!  JETTT!