"…Envious stares at my erection"

Well I thought his wife was PJ Harvey at first so I guess that's kind of winning if it was 10 years ago.

Game of Thrones was pretty great on the big screen, but I wish they had made it a little more special rather then just running the episodes. We were kind of hoping maybe they would open with The Mountain and the Viper showdown and cut to the opening credits to build it up. Alas, nothing except for the Season 5…

And wasn't there already a knock off of that called Stag? (I watched a lot of cable growing up)

He seems like a nice guy, but he's really annoying.

Before you tape sporks onto your knuckles and get out and fight the alpha right?

I guess Sam Smith no longer has to live like a refugee.

something something breastfeeding

Remember when Kelly Preston was so hot you almost forgot she was married to a weirdo like Travolta?

They still do that?

Cousins man. He made that movie.

Now I've popped both your cherries.

So they got the hacker, but when are they going to arrest Lady Gaga for stealing the rest?

I find their future to be….(takes off sunglasses) blurry.

They felt like a bag of sand.

She bumped into me coming out of the restrooms in Vegas and rubbed her fake boobies all over me. So I've got that going for me.

This is some next level snark. Really going deep.

Except for 50/50 right?

I would take Shailene out to a nice seafood dinner and actually call her the next day.

In that case, I'm assuming Christina Hendricks got a call.