Plant's "All the King's Horses" isn't that bad. Jimmy Page is the one who put out a shitty song called "All the King's Horses," on the second Firm album.

"It’s relentlessly cliché music…"

The sad thing about De Laurentiis is that he produced films by Fellini, de Santis, de Sica, Rossellini, Bergman and Lynch — yet also crap like this. His first wife, Silvana Mangano, appeared in films by Pasolini. Visconti and others. Yet their granddaughter is Giada de Laurentiis. So it would seem the schlock side of…

Jurassic Park is a crappy, lazy movie. I don't mind bad movie science, but I do mind bad movie science that constantly contradicts itself and assumes its audience is too stupid to notice.

For me, it's any John Carpenter movie, including Halloween and (since it's the subject of Scenic Routes) The Thing. Carpenter has never been especially good at, or even interested in, characterization, and for all of his more-than-competent use of the camera, he has always seemed like an inordinately lazy director to…

Klaus Kinski, because even when he was slumming in atrocious B movies, he remained committed to turning whoever he was playing into someone treading the line of psychosis.

Snowpiercer is one-note, and not a very good note at that. Given how nuanced Memories of Murder, The Host and Mother are, Snowpiercer seems like an iced-over "We are the 99%" bumper-sticker.

I think he patterned Wonka after Carol Channing, actually.

It might also serve to develop Qui Gonn's character as the worst Jedi on the Council. He needs to do midichlorian readings to determine force sensitivity; is the only Jedi not to sense something is off about Anakin; and gets pwned by Darth Maul, who is then fairly quickly dispatched by a padawan.

I was thinking he looked like Shia LaBeouf — but maybe that's now the same thing as "budget Tom Hardy"?

Her "lip synching" is almost like anti-art.

Bridge of Spies is an aggressively mediocre film: Spielberg using the gamut of Spielbergian touches in the service of making a Spielberg film, one that leeches out any real sense of moral complexity in favor of Americana lightly soured with something akin to cynicism. The rulebook speech is all well and good, but then…

You should also check out Tokyo Olympiad by Ichikawa Kon, about the 1964 Olympiad. It is an almost impressionistic take on the games, focusing more on the athletes than the events themselves. During the marathon, Ichikawa seems more interested in blistered feet than recording who actually won. The film was not well…

I can't wait to see her stare blankly at the cross as Jesus is crucified.

"What about you, boy. You been good all year?"

That is a good counter-example. Thanks for bringing it up.

Except when the characters get to Heaven, they learn that Paradise is all about partying non-stop — in other words, the childlike behavior they were supposed to have just grown out of.

I didn't say no films had alcohol or drinking in them; you just don't have that many where the alcohol serves as a central plot point in the way that Rogen uses drugs in his films. It's not just something he does: it defines his characters.

I can't recall a spate of films that are organized around how awesome it is for characters to be drunk. Or perhaps more aptly put — a series of films starring one actor in which the primary schtick is how many drugs he can do.

Prometheus directed by Danny Boyle — its theological
themes would fit better in his wheelhouse than in Ridley Scott's.