Actually, (pushes up glasses) if you were really serious about demonstrating love for LCD Soundsystem at this point in their career, you'd be spouting hipster backlash soaked in detached irony. This earnestness proves that you are not a true fan and have learned nothing from their music. Literally every other…

First, good to know since I have planned to read it based on the strength of The Virgin Suicides. Second, do you really have enough data to make any conclusions about how you might act sober?

Swans
That fucking song is needlessly 30 minutes long

I put on "Alice's Restaurant" at a bar and actually got yelled at by a waitress, which was fun.

wait what

Simpsons Kanye did it.

I just finished reading Something Happened by Joseph Heller. It actually reminded me of two fairly contemporary TV shows: Bojack Horseman (Heller's narrator is reminiscent of the title character) and Mad Men (the story takes place in a similar environment) — except there's few jokes and also no plot. It is an…

I've been meaning to read both of those, so… uh, can someone clarify this, I guess?

That's when you say "Never mind, my friend just texted me and he's burned it on CD for me. Is 96 kbps considered good quality?" and just watch what happens.

BEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME: IS IT PET SOUNDS OR SUPREME CLIENTELE????

I can only guess that Phil is from a simpler time when the word "muckraker" wasn't highlighted in blue in his history textbook and "education" wasn't a term meaning "copying down all the blue words and their definitions, year after year".

Also "Dicktowel".

Something tells me Donald Trump Jr. doesn't know how Julius Caesar ends.

The Cure — Other Voices
Bill Withers — Green Grass
R.E.M. — E-Bow The Letter
X-Ray Spex — I Can't Do Anything
Stereolab — Jenny Ondioline
The Nation of Ulysses — Maniac Dragstrip
The Dresden Dolls — Boston
M83 — Klaus I Love You
Bruce Springsteen — Lost In The Flood
DNA — Police Chase

I see how you're confused. Murder-suicide doesn't count as divorce.

I liked that Joel didn't tear into the O'Connell family. It's good to know that Joel can turn it off when he needs too, even if it is for people who legitimately deserve his bile and also if it's to get Knicks tickets.

Can't I just substitute malort or whatever for Benedictine? Also, what is Benedictine?

*air guitars entire solo for "The Kiss"*

Wire — Champs
The Smiths — Never Had No One Ever
Tori Amos — Pretty Good Year
Sufjan Stevens — The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!
Jimi Hendrix Experience — Hey Joe
Roxy Music — Sentimental Fool
Blonde Redhead — Falling Man
A Tribe Called Quest — Movin Backwards
New Order — Senses
Queens Of The Stone Age —…

Frank Sinatra playing bocce?