By the looks of the nominees, this may have been a blessing for those in attendance, lest their headless torsos get whittled into woodwind instruments.

By the looks of the nominees, this may have been a blessing for those in attendance, lest their headless torsos get whittled into woodwind instruments.

That is some commitment to a gimmick.

That is some commitment to a gimmick.

Thank you. Thank you for this.

Thank you. Thank you for this.

Well, at least someone was paying attention in Mr. White's chemistry class.

Well, at least someone was paying attention in Mr. White's chemistry class.

Hate on Duncan Sheik all you want, but I will defend "Barely Breathing" until the day I die. That is everything I want from a pop song.

Hate on Duncan Sheik all you want, but I will defend "Barely Breathing" until the day I die. That is everything I want from a pop song.

Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse's wiener I'd be worrying about being pissed on!

Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse's wiener I'd be worrying about being pissed on!

I love Charles-Bronson-voice-guy. Thank you for giving him a name.

I love Charles-Bronson-voice-guy. Thank you for giving him a name.

Well, we've discussed this, here's the feeling. You got a greeting, it starts with an H, how's twenty bucks sound?

Well, we've discussed this, here's the feeling. You got a greeting, it starts with an H, how's twenty bucks sound?

This happened to me last week the first time I saw the anchorman in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Fortunately, the second time he showed up I realized it was Duck Phillips.

This happened to me last week the first time I saw the anchorman in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Fortunately, the second time he showed up I realized it was Duck Phillips.

How did JFK get my spaghetti video?

What? Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys.