Chupacabra.

I hear that Natalie Merchants is carrying a full stock of Natalies this season. Got to head on down there and get me one. So I can hate-fuck it.

Yeah, the TC crew is always rather (unsurprisingly) underwhelmed when they're being judged by a Food Network "celebrity" chef. It's kind of like a coach from the local YMCA league showing up to judge the NBA Slam Dunk Contest.

Cliff Richard can pop a neck vein like nobody's business.

One vote for the Mos Eisley Cantina Band.

The real problem with Mike — and anyone who has worked in a serious kitchen has worked with a Mike — is that his opinion of his skills has gotten way ahead of the skills themselves. Braggarts and talkers, in the professional kitchen at least, are almost always the cooks whose mouths are trying to mask their own…

And the "puffiest, most coked-out guest judge award" goes to:
Tyler Florence.

Robin creeps me out. She looks like the Joker.

Kevin should be the new spokesman for Travelocity.

Back when the bottom fell out of the real estate market, I thought to myself that there was one upside: no more Million Dollar Listing.

Philtrum? But I don't even know 'um!

Some bouncer killed Brian Eno's emu with a hairdryer while "Portrait of Tracy" played in the background?

Also, cowboy hat + boyband microphone = mad stoopid.

What a coincidence — it makes ME think of your mom drunk at a piano bar.

Zapp Brannigan's not afraid to send wave after wave of his own men to their deaths if it means not accomplishing the goal of the mission.

Or your subconscious, even.

He put a bone or three in those interns' closets, that's for sure.

Yep, MD, I saw it, and I thought it was good, although it made me nostalgic for the heady glory days of Frisky Dingo. It's on FX and not Adult Swim because Adam Reed wasn't interested in working with AS again after they put the kibosh on Dingo after season 2. Or so I heard.

Seconded. Give me a rainy afternoon, a grilled cheese, a bowl of Campbell's tomato, a couch, and something good on the idiot box, and presto, I'm 12 again. Instant time machine.

No no, no snoot at all. The grilled cheese is a malleable platform, and I agree that real cheese, tomato, onion, etc., et al., are not only acceptable but in fact preferable alterations to the classic "two slices of bread and a slice or two of Kraft singles" formula. Although I will say, if you're gonna go with…