what does O'Neal look like (besides a halo)? I imagine Hunter S. Thompson.

**Stalone quickly stuffs bow, explosive-headed arrows, red bandana in intern's backpack**

you didn't see that fucking Angel-Megan Fox movie.

Hey gang, I'm off to a wedding the rehersal dinner for which is a costume party. The rest of the guests are hipsters from williamsburg who probably planned their costumes months ago and hired free labor through a micro-lending in a free Tunesia to make costumes that will be much better than mine, cause I just found…

The sad part is, Hollywood probably needed those stuntmen way more than it needs another Mickey Rourke movie.

This just in, three stuntmen crushed to death under Val Kilmer in the long-anticipated sequal "Batman Forever Again: Those Aren't Nipples"

Do you teach in the continental US? It's possible.

The Ring was great, purely for the moment went the protagonists all got home and you thought to yourself; "Man, that was actually pretty tame." and then, for no reason, because we all assumed according to horror movie cannon that her soul was at rest, she CAME OUT OF THE FUCKING TV! and suddenly it wasn't over, and…

my tough guy voice is also my Ben Affleck voice.

Li'l Wayne's "Everybody Must Get Stoned", obviously.

"We have a fictional character, whereas people in the past were real!"

I kinda miss Italian Beef by the truckload.

The only thing I remember from my creative writing professor is that that is the best opening line in modern literature.

absolutely. Lobsters, Arsenio, Scrawler, Clam, Narrators (both returns and unreliable), Guy Incognito, Stone Cold Steve all get to die in terrible ways, with special anime apearance my Mohd Terrorist, and Xenu as the Crimson King. soundtrack by Wesley Willis Fiasco.

Ok, if we were casting the Stand movie using only A.V. Club commentators, who would you use?
 Miller as Stu, Archmage as Mother Abigail, Lux Lisbon as Frannie, DashJr. as Tom Cullen, Gary X as Harold, Fast and Sloppy as Glen, Wrath of Kong as Larry, Kirk Cameron as lloyd, Gentile Herpes as Trashcan, and of course,…

Much like the Wicker Man showed us we don't have to burn nosey detective alive to still have fertile wives.

yeah, I like how the Crucible finally got us to stop burning women at the stake.

Warren Zevon's "Roland the Thompson Gunner" not only saved the Congolese, but was also solely responsible for the justified killing of Patty Hurst.

the above is an example of something that is right with the world. I know nobody liked The Last Castle, but Robert Redford is still freaking ripped!

My comments here are split on: 1) Walking in on that would make you choke on a pretzel, too! and 2) teacher says "every time two soldiers fuckit, a president kicks the bucket". That's right, zuzu!