I always feel bad when I humblebrag.

Yes, but following complaints by conservatives and a massive ratings crash, NBC is vowing to go with something less gay. Next year: La Cage Aux Folles LIVE!

There was nothing weird about my boner. It was three inches of raw power.

I'm not sure what disturbs me more: that Peter Pan turns me on or that the freaky looking Brian Williams' issue turns me on.

I made it a few episodes into the second season, but then wondered what the fuck I was doing.

The good thing is that people who tell you they watched all of Lost and now hate it provide you with the quickest opportunity to dismiss them as mental. Often in life it can take years to realize someone is that big of an asshole.

It's not so bad. I've had it since I was thirty and gazorpa zorp. The bird blurg my blue pants fly away.

Even Burt Reynolds?

Is weird because her original last name was Wandered.

Well, they sure got this prequel to BigHero 6 out there fast.

Unless Tink is going to go down on Melissa Joan Hart, I'll be fast forwarding the commercials.

And here I thought a headline with the word "might" in it was informationally null.

Also starting Tom Servo as himself

And for my money, every bond movie after Live and Let Die sucked terribly, with every Brosnan movie being particularly terrible.

Two Guys, A Rock, A Girl, And A Pizza Place. I'd watch it.

I'm pretty sure the Bond series was already fucked, which is what allowed Myers to do Powers in the first place.

My three wishes for the genie:

And the Chinese. Don't forget them. They builtr our first mass transportation system, so seven things.

What does this article mean start inventing things wholesale?

It doesn't take much research to find plenty of pretentious douche baggery regarding Pixar's plans to make Toy Story 2 & 3. Now universally beloved, TS3's announcement in particular sent many to the "cynical money grab" wailing wall.