I only read this article to call Piers Morgan a smug, supercilious, talentless cunt on the comment boards, and this thread has made me very happy. He always reminds me of the Dead Ringers news report of Jan Ravens as Kirsty Wark, announcing:

I'm glad we've got the gimmicks. I thought ZMF was a prick to start with but he's grown on me, and even Bellonna had one good joke - you have to give it up for a gag with a 124-post lay-up. Always a pleasure to hear from EVL and Cookie Monster, and Burl has to get a special mention for staying in character without…

"I'm not in love" isn't a breakup song (though it is awesome).

In increasing order of quality:

rule for life
I take no advice on future projects from anyone unable to spell "reins".

I'd agree. However, in my book "words that sound good for the tune" generally don't include the word "wanker".

"Anyhow" notwithstanding, I do not condone the use of the phrase "ahead of its time" to describe a film that's supposed to illustrate the bewildering pace of technology, but was already laughably anachronistic by the time it came out on video.

http://www.youtube.com/watc… - skip to 1:00 for proof.

allow me to spoil a song for you
On Oasis's "Morning Glory" you can quite clearly hear:

I just love Lithium for that great chorus. It's like Yeaaaahhhh and then it's like Yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh-eahhh Yeaaaahhhhhhh-eahhhh-eeeaaahhh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh YEAH! Classic.

I don't remember them dropping that box into the ocean, but now it creeps me out all over again. Cheers buddy.

Bastard son, I'm going to need an explanation for that too. To die will be an awfully big adventure!

I never understood the fuss about that scene in Clockwork Orange; it just comes off like half-hearted slapstick to me, which is never scary even if it is supposed to be a rape scene.

addendum
Such a pretty house
With such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Please.

Jesus Christ, people. Just because biastioc isn't here any more it doesn't mean there's a gap in the market for people describing their fantasies in over-elaborate detail. The standard rate for listening to people beat off is about 1.50/min, so put it back in your pants or we're going to have to start sending invoices.

Oh, you mean the B-side to I'm Still #1? Your taste in music > your firstie-snatching technique.

Die Another Day was a whole league worse than what went before. They were always silly and implausible, but they did at least have a passing understanding of physics, and didn't read like fan fiction.

Sam Worthington actually makes Wentworth Miller look as though he has range. That's got to be a skill. Is that a skill?

Oh, I'm not saying I WISH they'd get rid of him. I just don't get how come even a gelatine-backboned coward like Mark HASN'T got rid of him yet. I mean, I'm a weaselly type who's been compared to David Mitchell on more than one occasion, and I'd have kicked that prick down the road years ago!

Peep show
Jeremy from Peep Show. Every time I watch that show, I, and anyone I'm with, have to wonder aloud, "How come Mark still talks to him? Come to that, how come Mark hasn't murdered him yet? He won't be missed! Just do him in!"