You're just not cut out for life on Tralfamadore, Billy Pilgrim.

I think you're supposed to be one comment up, in the Michael Jackson zone.

This is the most flagrant case of false advertising since my suit against the film "The Never-Ending Story."

At one point, YouTube had one of those "10 hours of…" videos consisting entirely of Geddy just screaming "oooOOOOF SALESMEN!" over and over.

* punches a peasant in the head *

Exactly. What if there is no "Poltergeist Curse," but there *is* a "'Poltergeist Curse' Curse" and everybody involved in the documentary is now eternally haunted by spirits who are pissed off about being falsely accused of killing Heather O'Rourke?

Was the "L" was jammed under Laverne's fingernail? 'Cos it was kinda big, as I recall…

Joey also didn't care for the whole "labyrinth" part. He really just wanted to see a movie about pans.

Today I learned that Israel is in Asia. I always kind of figured it was part of Africa. Or maybe just the really far-east side of Manhattan.

I'm holding out for the "Super Sloppy" edition. Plain old Double Dare was insufficiently sloppy.

Earth Girls Are Easy*

>Is this even a promo for the real Twin Peaks?

My joke was done first and better by someone else, so I instead present you with this fine free association:

I'd probably be more willing to watch a late-night talk show if it actually involved the host fucking young actresses. It would be a nice change from watching PornHub.

"Life as an out lesbian is both challenging and satisfying."

{walks in}
{drops this off}
{walks out}
.
.
{walks back in to say, "Yeah, that *is* the guy from '30 Rock'."}
{walks back out}
.
.
{walks back in sheepishly, having forgotten my phone when leaving last time}

We mustn't dwell. No, not today. We can't. Not on Paget Brewster Day!

Bite your head off, man.

You mean "Bachelor Party" co-starring … Adrian Zmed?

It's only known as "The Grinder" in the northeast. In the Gulf Coast, the show is known as "The Po' Boy"; in the mid-Atlantic region, it's "The Hoagie"; and in the rest of America, it's "The Sub."