I've seen this a bunch of times before, but this time, I paid attention to the two female backup dancers. Then I started wondering about: (1) how they felt about being asked to come up with and/or learn choreography for a dumb little novelty sketch like this — was it a "hey, this is funny and I want to be a part of…

Well, it's stimulating.

BUSH RAVE = SHAVE RUB

Can't get enoof of that wonderful Doof!

DOOF WARRIOR = FOOD WARRIOR

Bullshit. Wonka — a grown man — purposefully designed the tour to appeal to the weaknesses of children. Isn't it convenient that the tour included a room that featured unlimited candy, a new kind of gum, and a t.v. transmission studio, and a room full of golden eggs, for children that loved candy, gum, t.v., and…

Does Steve Allen know that these scientists are stealing his bit?

Curse you, Brad Hall! First you get to bang Julia Louis-Dreyfuss whenever you want. Now you are officially recognized as the Internet's foremost authority on Air Jordans. Is there nothing else you will take from us?

Randian and a family film? So, "Atlas Hugged"?

It's been done.

It's the only thing that there's just too little of.

Danny Weinkauf is sad now.

It's Weasel™-brand gruel. Made by the good folks at Weasel Farms in Kalispell, Montana. The box features their century-old tagline "MMmm, that's good Weasel!"

Sorry. That was a typo. It was supposed to be a Nathan Christopher Dayspring Askani'son 'Soldier X' Gray Summers notification instead.

Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, darling, you give love … diarrhea.

Fridays

Episodes? You misunderstand. Minority Report is a weekly roundup from Fox News, telling you which cities' cops killed a black/hispanic guy this week, so you know whether there are going to be riots at your local Safeway.

Let's give 'em something to wuphf about!

Quickly, to the Masturbatorium!

Yeah, the article hyping his novelty songs and Disney work overlooks some really sharp first-person songwriting he did in the mid-'70s.