Oh man I love Fastball but this is a bitch of a song to cover. If you're not Whitney Houston or Linda Ronstadt then don't even think of touching a Dolly Parton song. Parton makes it seem like she's just talking while she pushes that urgency and desperation forward and normal human beings just can't do that.

He doesn't dye his hair.

Come visit at Cali and Whistler's WOT. I'll probably find my way to the Avocado (AV Club After Dark ) as well. Supposedly there's a Tolerability Index out there but I haven't explored that far yet.

And a ruler across his knuckles tonight.

He only got to college because of government assistance. It was pretty horrible because his dad died but Social Security paid his bills. He got his and now he wants to take it away from everyone else.

Tomorrow at 10 am Central Standard Time we're having Kinja thrust upon us. We're supposed to be able to port our Disqus accounts over to Kinja but we won't get the details until we're already on Kinja. If nested comments (where you get to reply to people and they can reply to you) is important to you then you'll want…

You would think. But no he let her stick around long enough that her useless show and worthless family got the promotion they demanded and then he disposed of her in the shabbiest manner possible so atrocious that I actually felt sorry for a Kardashian. I put it right up there with Kanye West making me feel sorry for…

So this is the darkest timeline.

No. I might look like a slut but I'm picky.

I don't know why people are being discreet about it. It's Kinjamprove. Look it up. It works for Chrome. Cali gave me a cheat for Opera. I'm not sure about Safari. If you're using Microsoft you are probably my mother and couldn't figure it out anyway.

Hey! COCK is NOT the same thing as KINJA!

…only because I hate Taylor Swift. She knows what she did.

Small American flags for some.

You only remember the bad things. https://youtu.be/ExS5prihfoM

It rained.

I'm counting on an Arpaio pardon in Phoenix. And maybe a job offer. No one is too criminal to work for Trump.

It's a floor wax!

Miss Peak? She's got nothing on Miss Mississippi.

I really don't have much to say today but this might be the last time that I can directly reply to you. I just wanted you to know that your comments have been a highlight of my day since you started Political Corner. I know that it's been a struggle and has had real world consequences for you. Just know that you are…

It would help if you at least tried to get people to like you.