He's officially campaigning for 2020. It's a way to "legally" make more money.

If I can't dance I don't want to be in your revolution.

Only @Matthew Stechel watches Man with a Plan. Well, Matthew and my partner. Because apparently somebody must. Isn't he coming back for another season of Episodes? Because that's actually worth watching and won't make you consider suicide by ennui.

I'm wearing nothing at all. You?

I'd sleep with you but then my fisrt gen partner would have to kill you. Are you cool with that?

So now we're all roller boogie-ing with Gene Simmons in hell.

Just beware those immigrants who have calves the size of canteloupes. They might want to put them somewhere that canteloupes don't fit. If you salt them first they actually taste sweeter.

Why the hell would he need to talk about Trump? He's more American than Trump could ever hope to be.

Madge says he's soaking in it.

I never lived next to that asshole.

Nothing about Elijah Blue? Hope he's okay.

If you feel the need to explain yourself it might help if you said something funny along the way.

Okay you may be an easily distracted cat but that sounds amazing.

My top pick is this ridiculous story in Newsweek.

He was willing to do anything not to walk his daughter down the aisle to that piece of crap.

I have to wait until 2098 for Eva Green porn? WORTH IT!

Just the rat? Because we've got the rat rat tomato and spam on special.

In southeast Wisconsin they're just happy to be milked. Call them what you want but you damn well better let them in the barn at milking time.

Not really but I'm not surprised 30 Rock went there. The K sound being funny dates to about the first time a woman heard the word cock and laughed twice as hard.

Hey, if you're a multi-millionaire you can afford to hire Jesus and Pedro to take care of that swamp in the back yard. Maybe they can even cultivate some lotus and not just the same old lilies like they've got next door.