Christ, it's no skeevier than joining a rock band. When I was in my '20s, "oh yeah, and I want to get laid" was an additional motivation, if not THE motivation, for pretty much everything I did. I mean, I didn't do this, but my point is, when you're that age, getting laid is a motivator for many, many things, and guys…

I'll have to watch this. It was harder to see stuff in those days - besides wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, there was no internet. The only way to find out what was going on in cycling was to see old French magazines like L'Équipe, and the ones we got in our area were months old. It was…

And have slaves.

CancerAIDS a plus. Must follow with

Yeah, he'll be hearing "Daaaaad!" a lot in a few years. Or long periods of silence at the dinner table.

Yes. Like this woman I met at a party who told me within three minutes of meeting her that she was a member of Mensa. You can use any unusual thing about yourself to show off. That does sound like a tasty sandwich! I'd remove the raw onions though, and leave on the sauteed.

I think it would be a pretty short show. "Hi, we're here for your son's accordion." "OK, here you go." "Thanks!"

OH yeah! I've got a picture of my dad dangling an L&M inches from my face as a toddler. My first flight back from Japan, they put me in the smoking section from NRT to SFO, months before it was outlawed on transcontinental flights. That…was something.

"Elevator, transporter room." "I'm fine, how are you?" Pat-hugs all around! Mad magazine and Dr. Demento saved my life.

Lick my plate! I liked this movie.

I like watching it, just to prove to young people how much people smoked in those days. It seems almost hard to believe now, but there is the video proof.

I swear, this site is sometimes made for me to purge memories that i never thought I'd share with anybody. My first hearing of Weird Al is was "Belvedere Cruising" (going belvedere cruising tonight! hey watch me pass that Porsche on the right). and Dr. Demento on KMET on Sunday night. I also remember him doing this…

So you've tried that "I've woken up in a pool of somebody else's urine" story too, eh?

I dated a woman from Cumbernauld, and she was as sweet as a Devon cookie. The Glaswegians have their work cut out for them.

His wife was the main drive for him to do the Pritikin's diet.

Tough crowd, tough crowd!

Scotland has its share of depressing places as well. Cumbernauld is famous for its town centre, because it was one of the biggest failures of central planning in British history. I always travel for the people however, not the sights as much, and Scottish people are very generous and nice, so I actually liked it. But…

It does have the redeeming grace of being hilarious. It would be sad however if you were just a driver's ed teacher or somebody at a dinner party, and this is how you got fame, especially if you didn't want it. Still, SBC probably does as much soul-searching as journalists who poke a microphone into the face of a…

Ebert's book Life Itself is pretty interesting on this subject - he devotes almost an entire chapter to it. He said he never thought his fat self looked that bad, and when he looked down, he saw "a pleasing convexity". Siskel made some pretty good jokes about it, and he knew that he was known as "the fat one" on S&E.…

Ygor could wear a flannel and ride a fixie. Herr Doktor, want to get some artisan coffee and a kale salad?