Seriously, Android is starting to dominate the smartphone market. Get with the times, AV Club!

"Hm, yes, this gorgeous Hollywood actress is far beneath my usual standards in women I masturbate to."

Scientology is the Amway of religions, though.

Yes, but we wouldn't have gotten paid to do it.

I think they just picked the Billboard top artists and songs and pretended they had something to do with it.

Seriously though, how brain damaged do you have to be to think New Girl is one of the top five best comedies on television?

Well, they just recently put a halt to AT&T buying T-Mobile, a move that would have created a near-monopoly of the cell phone provider market, as well as causing the loss of tens of thousands of jobs.

IMDb doesn't list them as having appeared in any of the same television shows in the last sixteen years either. Try again.

In my opinion, Martin Short made an absolutely stellar Mad Hatter in the 1999 made for TV Alice in Wonderland movie.

Bite your tongue. The Coens have done great movies with worse actors.

The last thing that Steve Martin and Martin Short were both in was Father of the Bride Part II in 1995. I think you're talking out of your ass.

You know, I'm starting to get tired of us doing all the previews like this. Once in a while, can't we have someone else? *sounds of barking* Huh? Oh, hey, you're perfect! Alright, here, you try doing it this time! *more barking* Really… *barking* Oh, so that's how it is. Wow, this is going to be an interesting…

The video tape was delivered to the Bebop with no return address. When we took a look at it, things took a turn for the unexpected. Well, actually, this story doesn't go anywhere. At first glance, it's pointless. The actions are on a small scale, and the ending is forced. But then again, what conclusions will you draw…

Let's kick the beat!

I want that murder mural hanging on my living room wall.

I'm dreaming of a Bubbly Christmas!

The Lady Gaga shtick is pretty much all about deconstructing pop music and celebrity culture, which I think involves going ridiculously pretentious yet being aware of it at the same time.

Oregon always gets passed over. Good stuff goes to Los Angeles, Seattle, and Boise, but almost never Portland. It's maddening.

Tom Cruise is whatever age, height, and ethnicity he wants to be!

I've got soul, but I'm not a Soulja (boy)