I think it must be Day 1, Day 1, Day 2, Day 2, …
Where were you yesterday, Dad?
Oh, I couldn't come to your tennis match yesterday because I was in an alternate reality.
His job is rather time sensitive as well so skipping days seems unlikely.

Her argument is backwards though.  Since he hasn't memorized the Constitution, there's no way for him to know if he is reading the real Constitution or some Constitution-like crap that he made up.

Just because that happens when you dream, doesn't mean it happens in his dream (if it is a dream).  You probably never have an all night continuation of last night's all night dream either.  Some people never dream in color, so they can't believe in the green/red rubber band!

I keep waiting for Captain America to yell "Flame on!"
Along the same line… If Hawkeye is dressed as the Green Arrow, can he still defuse bombs?

You forgot the bleeding!  Lots and lots of bleeding!

Hey, it's Top Scallop not Top Ice Pick Scallop.

Having sex with your employees is sexual harassment.  Having a sex with your employee who you just promoted over better qualified, unpaid interns… priceless!

If the average starting salary for a teacher in Berkeley is $78,000 then ramen noodle must cost 3 times as much as they do here.

That Alicia and Bonnie talked about Whitney FIRST kind of ruined the Etta tribute for me. 
We'd really like to talk about WHITNEY some more, but now we have to do this other because the programs were already printed.

The actual barbershop organization used to be SPEBSQSA.  For some reason, they changed it to BHS.

How was it well suited?  Kurt calling his lover "friend".  Have you seen Darren doing a lot of "running here and there" in the show? The song is sung to someone unpopular and friendless (a rat).  Until Sebastian came along, Darren's character has never been friendless or disliked enough to deserve this kind of pity…

It seems that a slushie to the face is not an assault in this universe (as it has happened 8,000,000 times and you think they would at least get in trouble for making a mess in the hall).  Hurting or even killing someone while doing something that you don't think could possibly hurt them is a very minor crime unlikely…

The Good Wife's brother is gay.

After you overcome the aversion, you will be found in the bathroom eating soap.
I love cilantro leaves but as a genetic "super-taster" I can't stand the flavor of the stems and many places leave the stems on so I imagine this is another reason why some people don't like it - they've never had it "stemless".

Officer Krupke basically has half of one song and a few lines in some other scenes.  They're going to have hundreds of applicants that played more important roles for all four years of high school. If they screen the resumes before having auditions,Kurt's screwed.  Accomplishments: Glee Club, Officer Krupke.

They thought they were hiring Marni Nixon…

He had to give all that up so he could create another jazz ensemble and appear in the other choir room whenever the Roomba Tones break out into song with no notice.

Tonight on a very special GLEE:  Santana has TWO abuelas!
What do you mean that's not special?  Everyone has two grandmothers????
No, that can't be!!!

… and how many of the 'Bubs heard on Glee were on The Sing-Off - half? a quarter? BTW, you only HEAR the 'Bubs - the Warblers are all ACTORS. 
The biggest problem with the college groups - the lead singers and the musical director are going to GRADUATE within a few months.  Why would you give a recording contract to…

I know you are, but what am I?