"We found your car, it was voting for Ralph Nader."

I have it on good authority that there are upwards of two of us.

(May not be juicy or gossip.)

Eh, most stoner entertainment is insufferable. I still haven't seen the new show by Ilana Glazer (Time Traveling Bong?) even though I fucking love that girl.

Do you, uh, have a catalogue for that? I'm asking for a friend.

There's a Simpsons quote for this but I'm drunk.

Aren't you, like, omniscient and stuff?

I'm going to repeatedly watch the premiere for The Night Of until the second episode airs on July 17th.

Goldblum and Hemsworth?

People could care less about the articles here nowadays, irregardless of grammatical errors .

What if I just use it for boobs, butts, and benises?

Helium-induced asphyxiation, oddly enough.

They're really angling for the lucrative Gillette sponsorship with this one.

The shifter wasn't providing enough haptic feedback so it was easy to confuse whether it was actually shifted into park.

Arby's
Lose faith in humanity.

*immediately quits weed*

As we've learned from George Zimmerman, being a vile piece of shit is in high demand in contemporary society, so I'm sure they'll find gigs at the next Milo Yiannopoulos event or Trump rally.

Too dumb to argue.

The Last Samurai

Pretty frightening hypothetical, internet!