But Bart always drinks plenty of…."Malk?"

It's so goddamned pithy and…and RIGHT! I don't know how else to explain it. It's just the perfect way to be like "Yep, this is a funny-ass callback joke, and yep, that's all the words we need to convey it to you."

And therefore, why it is my goddamn all-time favorite.

Oh my god, I'm printing out these two comments and framing them.

Far be it from me to go against the commenter who has NAMED themselves after my all-time favorite episode, but I do feel compelled to shake harder at your absolutely fair and reasonable comment, all the same.

I think my favorite bit of that line is Woman-Willie's pause between "surfin'" and "cube," like she's just coming up with that.

It's like if toymakers suddenly decided to go back to the old models of action figures/dolls.

I loved that he gave him the more "Matthau"-y voice of early Homer, like he's suggesting that's how all "Homers" start out before you're allowed time and work to have the voice evolve.

I tell you I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to have hilarious surnames!

One reason I love those Will Sasso "lemon" Vines so much is how this one sounds so similar to how Castellaneta delivers that "LEMON TREE?!" bit in this video at 17 seconds:

I always love the lines in The Simpsons that seem like very specific gripes. I really hope some writer of this episode LOVES real lemonade and fucking HATES Country Time.

An obvious reference to the Spike and Chester, but a loving and inspired one.

Milhouse's pride at that kit is second only to his pride over his camo.

It's the first step across that line of mystery and danger. To step out of childhood, and become a man.

This may be my all-time favorite episode just because it's also my favorite Milhouse episode. "A Milhouse Divided" and "Bart Sells His Soul" are close, but good lord does he have a bunch of classic moments in this one. The camouflage bit being my favorite.

The timing on Nelson sheepishly walking out from behind that tree is impeccable.

It is in the name of this episode that ANY team I've had the privilege of naming has shared Martin's inspired moniker.

This is all Marge's fault. She tried to teach him about town pride, but the power of her words filled him with a sort of madness. Also, that time she let him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear.

This is number one, with a silver bullet, my all-time favorite Simpsons episode and I am now going to comment on every fucking thread in it. And when I'm done, I'll turn around to some stranger's shadow to brag about my work.

God, that's even more satisfying now that we know that anti-vax, right-wing-leaning Schneider is far worse than just a comic hack.