The writer's room for HIMYM must be a truly hellish place if this is what they've chosen to unleash upon anyone still watching this show. (I refuse to make this post rhyme)

I was obsessed with the cheerleaders series when I was in junior high. The scene where one gets scalded (to death?) in the gym shower still sometimes pops into my head and freaks me out.

The Orioles might know.

"I baked my girlfriend a cake and wrote 'please initiate sex' on it using lotion. What can I do to make my intentions more clear?"

People who use suicide to try to get their way pretty much never actually do it. Sometimes that's unfortunate.

I don't necessarily think that porn viewing is something that must be hidden, though. Unless you know that your partner would be hurt or bothered by it, porn is pretty much a fact of most people's internal lives, so it seems strange to me that people treat it like some deeply shameful activity that just be hidden from…

Really? The Cardinals are the Yankees analog here? When they're playing the team with the $216 million payroll? I really don't understand sports media narratives at all.

Reconstruction Site may just be my favorite album of the '00s. It just gets more lyrically awesome and meaningful every time I listen to it.

I can't even deal with the fact that the best depiction of depression in song is narrated by a fucking cat.

Season 8 is definitely better than season 7, if for no other reason than they stopped (for the most part) trying to do comedic episodes. The well had really run dry on those by the end of season 7. I'm not a big fan of the season 8 mytharc (and season 9's supersoldier nonsense was godawful), but the motw episodes were…

I feel like this show has made it clear to me that I'm a huge sell-out. If I had some gimmicky, no-longevity product/idea, I'd be thrilled as hell if a successful business-type took over a majority of it and actually dedicated some time to ensuring that it made some money or at least got bought out for enough to make…

For a while my upstairs neighbor was dating a girl who made exaggerated porn star noises (like screaming her head off and "yes, yes, yes"-ing like an Herbal Essences commercial from the 90's) every time they fucked, which was seemingly every night that I really, really needed some sleep. I had considered leaving a…

Absolutely. If nothing else, her between-song banter is better than most standup out there. Plus, there's that voice.

Because maybe she's reached a stage of her career where she no longer has to care about being attractive enough for internet commentators? It seems like I've seen her joking around on Twitter about how much she hates sitting in a makeup chair. If she wants to style herself in a way that makes her feel more comfortable…

BJS: I appreciate how this asshole's first question isn't about the damage that his Craigslist bjs could potentially have on his marriage or the physical risks he's passing along to his wife (with whom after 15 years he actually has a pretty active sex life), but instead it's about whether getting blown by a dude…

I was told it was an "abandoned kid survival story," which is a trope I was really into as an adolescent. Plus, said trickster played up sex stuff (without mentioning that it was sister-rape).

Yeah, the other murders were staged so beautifully (that's super weird to write, but it's definitely true) that it was easier to take. The eye-gouging on the other hand…gah. It was realistic and brutal and just went on and on. That was probably the most disturbing thing, on a personal level, that I've seen on…

Wow. That's really incredibly telling of so many things fucked up about our entertainment culture.

I was tricked into reading the novel when I was young, so I fully support the movie if for no other reason than I can trick others into watching it and therefore create some sort of karmic retribution.