Shailene Woodley for Cable!

Hey buddy, I liked The Descendants/The Fault in Our Stars/Some other third thing which I'm sure was really good.

I can't wait to see Pepsi's tasteful commemoration of Pearl Harbor come December!

After starring in something like The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I understand her hesitance to be in a TV show again.

Cast as a Civil War soldier in a Fritz Lang movie?

Flying in planes makes your throat dry. Gingrich was well aware that Hillary will be getting around the country via a broomstick powered by the tears of heterosexual white children.

The Libertarian Party presidential nominee, Gov. Gary Johnson, is leading Hillary Clinton in not knowing who Harriet Tubman was.

I do not remember this, but I will never forget that, yes, Obama is a cool dude.

You're leaving out the heavily erotic scenes of Thrust Hardmeat masturbating to Lexi's Instagram selfies through his tears.

Seeing as how I just used today's Debate to declare my love for Taylor Swift, I think this is a safe space to show our faces, so to speak.

You'd best watch what you say, Sillstaw. I don't want to have Bad Blood with you, but make me angry and I can be a nightmare out of your Wildest Dreams. Instead of making a flippant comment, you ought to have just left a Blank Space, but if you promise not to do it again I'll just Shake it Off.

Harry Styles was cast as a WWII soldier in a Christopher Nolan movie, how much manlier can you get?

I love seeing veterans voice their support for Kaepernick, if only because I love watching smug assholes who invoke the men and women of the armed forces like they're some kind of fucking trump card get taken down a peg.

Back when we all thought the Les Miserables movie had a chance at not being terrible, I remember Evan Rachel Wood being considered for the role of Eponine along with Lea Michele and Taylor Swift (!!!).

Well, I guess it's that time again. Debate Club time.

Well luckily Batman-related media inspires absolutely zero fan-related rage, so I think you're set.

Alright guys, let's start a commentariat pool so we (read: I) can get this thing! I can contribute…. Five dollars.

I was convinced Beyond was going to be bad until about a week before it came out.

If Into Darkness hadn't been such a pile of shit, Beyond probably would have done a lot better.

Not enough!