It seems FS1 is much more common to find internationally. Not sure how the company is structured or where the money goes but they may have more money to play with than you think.

Would the teachers believe Scarlett if Scarlett told them that your daughter punched her in the face?

I was never a big Prince fan. In '97 a friend dragged me to one of his last minute announcement shows. I went somewhat grudgingly. I was converted within 15 minutes. I knew he played guitar, but I didn't realize he PLAYED guitar. The diversity of the crowd, the energy and showmanship. I was completely blown away. I've…

That's the best thing I've read all day. Congratulations. If you've made it this far, it means you know what you're doing.

Good luck. I hope it works out, Your Holiness.

Thanks for the recommendations.

Boom! Yummy! Enjoy your trip. Wanted to go when I was in South America a couple years back but didn't realize I had to apply in advance.

I don't want a bong because I don't want to be that high. I burn through way too much when bongs are involved. The one-hitter has always been my go-to because it helped me limit how much I was using. But I've started doing more and I need to cut it out. I just need to invest in a good, small vaporizer. That or start…

In the style of Yoko Ono.

Bury your guitar in their skull. Works better if you have a backup guitar.

Go full flavor and get the 99% backwoods stuff. A little dab will do ya.

Have you already applied for your visa?

I wish I had the time to dive back into that. Gorgeous game.

I've been trying to back up off the weed recently. Every time I clean out my one-hitter I think about how much of that tar makes it into my lungs.

Yeah. I got off easy this year as I was only freelancing for about three months. Next year's taxes are going to be rough. I'm trying to move money over to a savings account on a regular basis so I don't get hosed next April.

You have no idea how close you are to the actual story. Your creepy basement pub doesn't happen to be in the former East Germany by chance does it?

Funny story about that. Too long to relay here. The moral is, if you wander into an unfamilar pub with a bunch of antiques and knickknacks on the wall and you notice some jars with dinguses in formaldehyde, that's your cue to get the fuck out immediately.

If folks drove like they walked, the entire population of Earth would be uninsurable.

Everyone I know who deserves that title has a dingus.

*writes down "twatwaffle" in notebook for later use*