The only celebrity dream I had in college was that I was trapped after hours in a shopping mall run by Betty White and her Robert Palmer backup dancer minions, They tried to see me a knock-off PlayStation, but, when I said no, they started coming after me…I remember being profoundly confused upon waking up.

I…Think it's a yogurt cultures joke..? Yeah, I'm gonna need help on this one, too.

THE WORLD: "NEVER!"

I'm avoiding the obvious joke. Rather, I will just say that, even if they were marched directly in front of him and said: "Help us. We are being held prisoner," he probably wouldn't even notice.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

AND a good chunk of that poor bastard's children. Pitezel, (his partner) was no angel, but no-one deserves that.

O_O
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.
Welllllllllllllll…..

"Call it my 'Women's Intuition.'"

The problem is, even if you're plugged into that demographic, it's insufferable because it continues to harp onto stuff you already know about. I'm perfectly capable of fanboying over something without the text nudging in the ribs every 30 sec. going: "Eh? Eh?"

Hooooo, boy. Maybe it's best you sat down, for this…

It's interesting you think that, because, when I saw the headline, I immediately began to think of stuntmen, the kind of lives they lead, and what kind of attitude must one need to do what they do, and I got to thinking. The fact these people are willing to go to such lengths in the name of "disposable entertainment::…

Personally, I'm having it as a proviso in my will that every person over the age of 13 at my service will be issued a 12 oz. bottle of Wild Turkey and will be expected to finish it by the end.

Nah, you'd just get those really thick Burgess Meredith-type specs that make your eyes look really big from that Twilight Zone episode: "Time Enough At Last."

Damnation; my condolences to his friends and loved ones. About the only positive thing, if you can call it that, to take away is that he died doing what he doubtlessly enjoyed, (you don't get into stuntwork on a whim) and with both eyes open to the consequences. Kudos to an interesting life, well-lived, sir.

But-but-but-but-but—You're a Shulk! You're a gamma-powered superheroine! You-you Smash! You're not into scifi?

YOU'LL GET NOTHING, AND LIKE IT.

So, you missed the understated awesome that was "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles?" Pity.

Yeah. But it's really the same for ANY group of people with an axe to grind. Give them continued validation in their beliefs, and they'll be ready to do anything you ask.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the (slightly more) horrifying racial and class politics, and the fact that every goddamn piece of architecture had stairs or a step, I think I'd actually be pretty okay in the early 1900's. Then again, I'm fairly certain my past-life must've lived to at least 100, for all the…

Yeah, I will. Can't goddamn wait.