Yes, he was Girl's boyfriend.

It's a pity that a billionaire couldn't afford some sort of professional child care.

Tell that to Tetragrammaton Bazouk.

aaaarrrrggghhhhh

Gotta be silver—no gold in this franchise.

They had to take turns or risk suicide.

1.  I object to the use of the word "lit" in your post.  It's not just inaccurate but unnecessary in the sentence.
2.  The other Dakota, not Fanning.  Made that mistake myself.

And you call your act The Aristocrats.

You have reminded me of my first and last attempt at hard-core porn.  It ended with a cheery fire out in front of my house.

pewter

It's down, of course.

"The Hugo is my penis."  —  Nathan Fillion

Maybe she's trying to save her daughter from what happened to Tippi Hedren?
Which is worse:  no sex = no career or gratuitous sex = no career?

Lina Lamont

Whatever happened to biastioc and prisonwine?

Paula Deen and Heston Blumenthal in 50 Shades of Gray Hair.

David Sedaris read some of it aloud.  It's on youtube.

Joel Grey.

Could have been Dakota Fanning, which would up the yuck factor.

Gilbert Godfried was my go-to for this.