They could dig up Lon Chaney.

Dale is based on Tom DeLay, who started out as an exterminator.

Jay See does not kid.

Mostly he just kept telling it to shut up about the river, they weren't going there no matter what.

Would it be rude to ask what time zone you're in?  It's not even noon where I am and it's not yet hot enough to be drinking wine, much less anything harder.
I do admire your commitment, though, I guess.

I think you did admirably, nothing to be off-hand about.  Personally, I am tired of arguing with people who microwave pre-cooked food and then claim to have "cooked" dinner; these people are the target demographic for pre-cooked bacon, pancakes and toast.

Screw Twinkies.  I want to know if Ding Dongs are coming back, too.
Frozen hard in the summer, with a glass of cold milk—Ding Dongs make life worth living.

Why is it so hard to buy a decent bottle of Riesling in the hot weather?  Do all companies have to switch to (shudder) Moscato?  Moscato should be drunk out of brown paper bags in alleyways.  

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both and be one Franco,
Long I stood…

I thought it was niche porn:  The Blonde and the Furry

I'd take that bet.

And used car salesmen.
Still, better that than taking on a white shoe organization.

Is the blonde listening to music only she can hear?

What about Mr. Right, or whatever that movie was called?  An anti-rom-com with a sociopath for the leading man.  I thought he was pretty fine in an otherwise weak movie.
Was it Mr. Wrong?  I can't even remember the title.

That is the way he comes across, though.  If he'd called them the alien star-whackers, maybe someone would have paid attention.

On the nose with that.  The worst insult from man to man is to call him a woman in some way. 
Once at the u, I opened my office door just in time to hear one of the new hires calling two of his jock students "ladies."  (And by "jock" I mean athletic scholarship types.)  Just as a matter of course.  I don't know if he…

Sometime in the past, but it was such a long time ago—it shouldn't really count.  Blah blah deposition, court case, etc.

Ah, that's hilaria.

He's a dick, but he's a hairy dick.

"Lucky … sleeps with the female"
Euphemism of the year.