My idiot brother doesn't understand the concept of pets.  He is also selfish and self-absorbed.  I really don't know if he's ever loved another living thing (his children included) more than he loves himself.
I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that most people who don't understand the popularity of pets are…

Ah, balogna.

Beat me to it.  However, I concur.

Dumbass.  Pet owners are the slaves.  Years of personal experience talking here.

My fox terrier is named Stella—she came with the name—but my dogs have had a wide variety of names.  The last one (recently deceased) was Biggie Big Dog because I just fucking ran out of names.

How do you own a pet profoundly?  

No idea, but they've started volume 2 of Abe Vigoda's.

No matter what happens, Witherspoon should be commended for making O'Neal's headline possible.
Now all O'Neal has to do is turn this into a movie treatment.

Heh heh—he said "stew."

Thankfully, no.

They need to talk to the guy who makes the red shirts.

Safe, not good.  Though they are good as well.

Add graffiti and you've got Pompei.

You're basically correct.  The meat was coming in from the manufacturer with salmonella, and since JITB was going for medium-cooked burgers, the salmonella wasn't getting killed in the cooking.

Many years back there was a hamburger chain that used Thousand Island, but McDonald's eventually put them out of business.  Wish I could remember the name because I used to like those burgers and hadn't thought about them at all till now.
Jack is in Texas and in a lot of ways is better than McDonald's.  They used to do…

Tom & Ray talked about this on a recent CarTalk.  To sum up, unreliable when new; possibly more reliable after the original owner has paid for years of repairs before you buy the Jag used.

Remember the Toyota Cressida?  Cressida (after the Shakespearean character) is another word for prostitute.

I worked with a guy who was the front-seat passenger in a Pinto that got rear-ended.  He and the driver made it out, but the friend in the back seat—because Pintos were two-door cars with a back seat, so small and cramped that getting out of the back was challenging even in optimal conditions—was burned to death when…

He may have beaten you to it, but your guess is gold.

And in Grace Under Fire, all the adult Kellys were named after famous other Kellys:  Grace Kelly (obvious); Emmitt Kelly (father-in-law); Jean Kelly (Gene), mother-in-law; Jimmy Kelly (Machine Gun), ex-husband.