My five-year-old son, who was obsessed with Cars, asked to leave the theater before Cars 2 was over. This was a kid who dreamed of seeing this movie as soon as he heard it was coming out. Cars 2 is so bad that you don't need to qualify what's bad about it. It's a pure crap film, and an obvious cash-in that didn't even…

See, that's what I totally want.

When I saw the previews, I thought, what's so bad about being a zombie if it gives you super powers? Because being one of Romero's zombies would clearly suck. You'd be undead, emphasis on the DEAD. But super-fast high-climbing zombies kind of seem more alive than the average person. Go ahead and bite me, dudes.

[puts down shovel] ALL RIGHT already! Excuse the hell outta me for wanting to get an early start.

Did they already do I Walked with a Zombie?

@avclub-4caf6aa0375b2499ebfe7e971b36eee3:disqus So why is this woman surprised that Amish kids don't know how to write checks?

How many schoolkids today know how to shoe a horse? Or burn a witch? Depressing.

Franco himself will make all the payments.

Interesting Flash Gordon fact: It was a popular in France as it was in the U.S., and when the Nazis took over France they banned it, because Flash's battle against Ming had so many parallels with the Allies' battle against Hitler. So it was taken out of the papers and Edgar P. Jacobs was hired to write and draw the…

Yeah, the chances of her replying is against all odds.

@WrongSirWrong:disqus  Like some cat from Japan?

@avclub-226a98f6949e5d6947877bc6a15e39d4:disqusYou just explained the whole history of Burger King commercials to me.

Or the mythical fusion of all three, the seldom-glimpsed SteveJoanatar?

I'll go even farther and say both movies and Dahl's book all stink.
I don't really feel that way… it's just… the Internet makes me say I hate things.

@avclub-9024f9f0a80d2d248c7c6efb2e715c37:disqus Canadians ARE aliens. Not like they're Americans or anything.

I always thought hipsterism meant following a trend, but following it ironically. Like, enjoying something popular that everyone likes, but doing it for different reasons than everyone else. In Onionese, appreciating the Muppets on a deeper level than you.
I also differentiate between hipsters and slackers, though I…

My Valkyrie. My warrior woman. Sometimes the fire burns so bright, baby… I forget the rest.

The Hamburger Helper hand is a fucking GLOVE. Gloves can't play James Bond. What the hell's the matter with you?
Now the Pillsbury Dough Boy—that guy could NAIL it. Instead of tying him to a chair and smashing him in the balls, Lechifre would just tickle him in the tummy. A little too hard.

I like the songs on Sea Change a lot, but I would love to hear a version of this album covered by various other artists. I'm just not a fan of Beck's singing when he slows down and starts slurring, deliberately. I always thought this album was Beck's attempt to emulate Merle Haggard's ethos, drivin' through a…

Please, @avclub-5934f8d8c7553f3a03d2f898e03d721c:disqus , educate us!