(William Shatner-style) COOLLLLMMMMESSS!!!!!!!!!

I swear I will put down this plate of mashed potatoes and beef jerky that I'm eating and I will drive over there in my Ford F-150, blasting Toby Keith all the while, park in your driveway and then take my steel baseball bat to your Toyota Prius. You can't stop me Colmes, I'm invincible! Invincible!

Tom Waits, you don't support the troops and you haven't been completely honest with your affiliation with ACORN. People, there just is too much that we don't know about Tom Waits. He can't be trusted.

Someone should make a Quantum Leap movie. I'd love to see that guy clean up this country.

Colmes, I thought we discussed this, but we can no longer continue our sexual rendezvous with my top-rated conservative TV and radio shows. You had to go. I promise, you'll find someone else. It's not me, it's you. I just didn't want to get Mark Sanforded out like so many others have. Our party can't afford it. Now…

Alec Baldwin
hates America

MacGruber is an American hero
He fights the evils of terrorism which is more than I can say for our failure-in-chief Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

My daughters won't be allowed to date until they attend college and then they can't have sex until marriage. I don't generally agree with sitcoms, but this one has it right. America is in need of some Christian values and the world can't stand by and let the smug chain-smoker Barack Obama be our moral compass.
Now, I…

This is a great commentary on the indeptitudeness of the Obama administration. Ebert might as well line up with Father Phlager and Reverend Wrong and the other NoBama supporters. Liberal idiots.

Spike Lee is a racist and this movie is of no value. Slavery was years ago, get over it!!! You want to watch a real filmmaker? Watch "Flags of My Fathers" by the genius and gun-rights-supporter Clint Eastwood. Damn liberal Hollywood.

Rosie O'Donnell

God didn't intend that. Unless you count my good friend Ann Coulter's adam's apple…

True Blood is a typical hollywood defense of the vampire rights movement. Look, I'm not prejudice but the good God didn't intend for us to be bitten and drained of our blood — that's what April 15th is for!

Beating your kids is an American tradition. H.W. used to beat good ol' Dubya and Jeb and look how they turned out.

The liberal hack Rosie O'Donnell

Sasha Barron Cohen (typical Jew) is everything that's wrong with America. He tries to paint our country as racists which is something Barack HUSSEIN Obama would do. Typical hollywood liberal.