I don't think he even knows what chess is.

Do you think he really has enough willpower to ease off to Elvis levels, though? It doesn't seem like much to eat a bit healthier, but for Trump, it may as well be impossible.

But cheese is the Devil's topping!

PENIS

"Every city has a Donald Trump; ours is just the Trumpiest."

MOOPS!

Why would you want to gum up the insides of your guns with blood like that?

HALT

Perkins.

In bunt we trust.

Don't just stand there, let's get to it.

The 24 NewsHour with Jim Lehrer

Wobert?

Holy shit, actual reviews of TV shows, and "current affairs" ones at that? What the hell is going on here, AV Club? Have you decided to bring back TV Club?

Four score and seven wizzes ago…

Trump has shrink-ray technology? That explains his hands and penis.

Was the decision to remove it also by blowing it up?

"I can't fit that many in my luggage!"

A lot of these statues are less that 100 years old.

George Burns or Ken Burns?